Megan Devine has created a supportive, welcoming, online environment that I hope you never need. It was one of the first online resources I found immediately following my Dad’s death. Here are some of the links to that community, her book, and a video that still helps me on bad days.
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I found a way to heal through the poetry. This stage is the only place I could tell my story where it wasn't a burden I was putting on to anyone. I don't quite have the vocabulary to express how Donte Collins' writing makes me feel. But we'll start here. I feel so much less alone; that is something that is so uncommon for a young person dealing with grief; it is something I take an endless amount of comfort it. He writes about the loss of his mother in ways that I cannot quite get to yet, and at several of his poems, I will stop and literally say "Yes! Me too." So if you're looking for some of that, that's where to find it!
These are the things we beg for. A root canal, an I.R.S. audit, coffee spilled on our clothes. When the really terrible things happen, we start begging the god we don't believe in to bring back the little horrors, and take away this. It seems quaint now, doesn't it? The flood in the kitchen, the poison oak, the fight that leaves you shaking with rage. Would it've helped if we could see what else was coming? Would we have known that those were the best moments of our lives? The Gilmore Girls revival, "A Year in the Life" came out shortly after my Dad died. Because Edward Herrmann had passed a way a few years before filming the revival, Richard's (his character) death, was a big plot line. As if Lorelai Gilmore and I didn't have enough in common, we now shared this special bond too. While my relationship with my Father was entirely different than hers, I loved her monologue to her mother for several reasons, including the fact that my dad and I frequently had our little secrets from my mom. I just came across Jared Singer today--this was the first poem of his I listened to and I flat out cried. It was so nice to know there was another human in the world that "got it". So I take comfort in that. When my Dad first died in November of 2016, I didn't really have any coping skills. What 21 year old would? So for the first few months one of the few things I could do was listen to music and cry. Here's the playlist I compiled soon after. It includes songs about Dead Dads, songs that reminded me of mine, and songs that comforted me in the wake of the worst thing I had experienced.
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AuthorYou can learn more about me under "About Me" Archives
August 2018
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